When youíre dealing with people who are offensive or irritating, you need to look past the behavior to the pain.
Everything we do is motivated by something. When people hurt others, itís because theyíre hurting on the inside. Hurt people hurt people.
The more you understand about other peopleís backgrounds, the more grace youíll show them. Think of a person you find to be difficult or irritating. You probably know nothing about their background, so you donít cut them any slack.
You donít know that maybe they lost their parents at a young age. You donít know that maybe they were molested. You donít know that theyíve gone through two marriages and their spouse just walked out on them. You donít know their story, and thatís part of why youíre not showing them any grace.
The Bible says in Proverbs 19:11, ďA personís wisdom yields patience; it is to oneís glory to overlook an offenseĒ (NIV). Itís easy to take offense from people you find difficult. But when youíre wise, you donít get offended easily. Why? Because wisdom gives you patience.
When you patiently take the time to understand someoneís background, you understand the stress theyíre underóand itís easier to show grace. Your understanding gives you patience to overlook the offense.
What Iím talking about here is real love. In fact, the Bible says refusing to be offended by other people is actually an act of mature love. The more love you have in your heart, the harder it is for someone to personally offend you. The less love you have in your heart, the more insecure you feel and the easier it is to offend you.
Proverbs 10:12 says, ďLove overlooks the wrongs that others doĒ (CEV). The more youíre filled with love, the less youíll be upset when people are demanding, demeaning, or disapproving.
When you encounter a difficult person, remember to do this: Look past the behavior to the pain. Then refuse to be offended and, instead, respond in love.