Dear Pastor....

              (letters from the kids)            

       Dear Pastor, I know God loves everybody but He never met my sister.

Dear Pastor, Please say in your sermon that Peter Peterson has been a good boy all week. I am Peter Peterson.      

       Dear Pastor, My father should be a minister. Every day he gives us a
       sermon about something.

Dear Pastor, I'm sorry I can't leave more money in the plate, but my father didn't give me a raise in my allowance. Could you have a sermon about a raise in my allowance?       

      Dear Pastor, My mother is very religious. She goes to play bingo at church
      every week even if she has a cold.

Dear Pastor, I would like to go to heaven someday because I know my brother won't be there.    

     Dear Pastor, I think a lot more people would come to your church if you
     moved it to Disneyland.

Dear Pastor, I liked your sermon where you said that good health is more important than money but I still want a raise in my allowance.    

     Dear Pastor, Please pray for all the airline pilots. I am flying to California

Dear Pastor, I hope to go to heaven some day but later than sooner.     

     Dear Pastor, Please say a prayer for our Little League team. We need God's
     help or a new pitcher. Thank you.

Dear Pastor, My father says I should learn the Ten Commandments. But I don't think I want to because we have enough rules already in my house.

     Dear Pastor, Who does God pray to? Is there a God for God?

Dear Pastor, Are there any devils on earth? I think there may be one in my class.     

     Dear Pastor, I liked your sermon on Sunday. Especially when it was finished.

     Dear Pastor, How does God know the good people from the bad people? Do you tell Him or does He read about it in the newspapers?


  1. No matter how hard you try, you can't baptize cats.
  2. When your Mom is mad at your Dad, don't let her brush your hair.
  3. If your sister hits you, don't hit her back. They always catch the second person.
  4. Never ask your 3-year old brother to hold a tomato.
  5. You can't trust dogs to watch your food.
  6. Don't sneeze when someone is cutting your hair.
  7. Never hold a Dust-Buster and a cat at the same time.
  8. You can't hide a piece of broccoli in a glass of milk.
  9. Don't wear polka-dot underwear under white shorts.
  10. The best place to be when you're sad is Grandma's lap.

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