Somebody had what some call an “Affair” this weekend...An adulterous affair.

They had been talking to that guy at work, telling him all their problems about that guy at home. Or there was a man who felt that twinge of different in that woman that spent a long time just listening. It was enough to keep them interested. Eventually, enough to bring them to an affair. A young wife whose husband left her, after he committed adultery, admitted he should never have started talking to the waitress who flirted. But he said he didn’t want to talk to his wife anymore.

Adultery is a choice. Adultery is not an accident, I didn’t mean for this to happen, really. The reality is that you chose things that positionally set you up for adultery. Somewhere along the way, you knew something was getting too close and you liked it. You talked too long. You spent too much time. You talked badly of your spouse. You let a few bad days create your life outside your home. You had unresolved issues. You didn’t communicate at home.

Adultery doesn’t start in the bedroom. Or the back seat or a hotel. Or a work office. Adultery starts in a heart that’s positioning itself in unfaithfulness. You talk. They touch. They talk. You comfort. How many scenarios are there?

Today, be careful. Set a hedge around your marriage. Engage with others without lacing up your conversation with your discontent at home. You do not solve issues at home with adultery. The best rule of thumb I’ve ever known to be a great deterrent to bad behavior, is simply the golden rule. Would you want them to do to you, what you are doing to them? If the answer is no, then get yourself in check.

As the wife of a faithful man for over 40 years, who has set hedges and guardrails and good walls around his marriage, I know this security in marriage creates passion and extravagance.

Adultery starts with conversations and most often, conversations you really should not be having. One of the greatest things you can ever do for your valentine, is give them the security of a faithful marriage. Every valentine is a gift. Throwing it away is a selfish sad thing to do. Adultery ruins families and lives nearly daily. Watch your conversations today. Guard the love God gave you.