Itís NOT Complicated
On one of the many social networks on the internet, there is a place to indicate your status: you can select "Single", "Married", "In a relationship","Divorced", "Widowed", or "Itís complicated". That last one struck me as odd. It seems to be an indication of the root of many of the problems we face today.
"Itís complicated". How can it be complicated? Either you are married, or you are not - whatís so complicated about that? If you were married, but your spouse died, you are widowed; thatís not complicated. If you were married, and a court granted a divorce decree, you are divorced - again, not complicated. And if you are in a relationship, that shouldnít be complicated, either.
A relationship means that you love one another, are fully committed to each other above all others, and are faithful to each other. There isnít anything complicated about it. If you do not love each other, then you will not be not committed to each other, or faithful to each other, or put each other above all others. The only reason we even want to do these things is because of the love we feel for that person. If there is no love, no faithfulness, no priority, no commitment, then it isnít much of a relationship - itís more of a mutually accepted convenience. Itíll do, unless or until something better comes along.
That attitude is exactly how everything gets complicated. We try to complicate what should be simple. There are some things that are plain and simple, black and white - but we always seem to like to blur things into a murky gray. There are some things that are right, and some that are wrong. Just because the right things always seem to be harder does not allow us to change wrong to right to soothe our own guilty conscience.
When we get involved in relationships we know are wrong for one reason or another, rather than having the moral courage to call it what it is, we say "itís complicated". Most of the time, what that phrase really means is: "One or both of us are doing something we know is wrong, but we donít care, weíre going to do it, anyway, because itís what we want."
For instance, if his divorce isnít final yet, you say, "itís complicated", rather than admit you are guilty of fornication - the Biblical term for having sex outside of the bonds of marriage - and he is guilty of adultery. If you love him, but he isnít fully committed to you, you say "itís complicated", rather than risk losing him by requiring a commitment from him. Or if you donít really love him anymore, but you still need his financial support, you say "itís complicated", rather than admit you are using him - prostituting yourself, when you stop to think about it.
Yes, these are harsh and ugly words. But isnít it time we realized that these are harsh and ugly behaviors? You see, these things arenít really "complicated". We make them so by denying the ugly truth of our actions.We want to do whatever we want, whenever we want, even when we know it is wrong.
This same attitude is the root of our problems in our relationship with God. He loves us much more than we love Him; He loved us enough to die for us, in fact. And He is fully committed to us, each and every day, wanting only the best for us, wanting us to have His blessings every day. He is completely faithful to us, unchanging in His loyalty and devotion to us.
But can we say the same about our relationship with Him? Do we love Him, as He loves us? Are we completely faithful to Him? Are we willing to put Him first, above everyone and everything else in our lives? Do we desire to please Him and serve Him? Do we even bother to take the time to find out what pleases Him, by spending time in His word?
Or are we guilty of using Him for our own purposes? Do see Him as some great cosmic Santa Claus, who exists to give us everything we ask for, like a spoiled child? Do we pray only when we have a great need or a problem we canít handle? Do we seek Him only when weíre up against the wall, with no way to turn? Do we expect Him to do all the giving in the relationship, meeting our every request, and being terribly disappointed when it seems like He doesnít come through? Instead of being faithful to Him, do we seek to have our own way, and follow our own wisdom? Instead of putting Him first in our lives, do we make Him a last resort to turn to when all else fails?
You see, just as our earthly relationship shouldnít be complicated, our relationship with God shouldnít be complicated, either. He made it all very simple. Weíre the ones who complicate things. The complications come in when we choose to do things our own way, instead of His way. We complicate our own lives by not seeking His divine wisdom in every aspect of our lives. Itís when we choose to go against the wisdom of His word that we find things getting really complicated.
God never takes away our free will. We are always free to do things either His way, or our own way. He allows us to make wrong choices, even though He knows it is going to cause us complications. We should know that His way is always perfect, and leads us to peace and contentment. Our own way is very imperfect, and leads to unhappiness, discontent, and complications. This may hard for us to accept, but it isnít hard to understand; in fact, it ought to be a "no-brainer". Itís not complicated.